| Poetry, Print Issues

Daughterhood as Blood Oath

Mary Maxfield

My mother taught me silence like a secret handshake,

more muscle memory than vow.

When asked about her now, a hush

entangles fingers, slaps, knocks fists.

I say everything

 

but this. She made my body

a ghost story no one would believe.

Least of all, me. She made me open

to interpretation. Every memory

a plot hole she could prod.

 

She taught me to draw

so lightly nothing needs

erasing. The trick’s pretending

you intended each mistake.

She made my memory

 

a line break, taught me to shape

the white space, until even

silence stays unsaid. If only she’d bent

my fingers back, pressed

for a promise, I could say this much

 

for sure: She insisted

I harbor secrets in my stomach.

She shelves every swallowed story

under loyalty. She taught me

to write fiction

 

every time I sign my name.

Mary Maxfield (they/she) uses nonfiction, poetry, fiction, and research to explore queerness, healing, and community. Their past publications include Catapult, Strange Horizons, and Sweeter Voices Still: An LGBTQ Anthology from Middle America. Mary has been honored as a Lambda Literary Fellow and as a finalist in Button Poetry’s annual spoken-word contest. Find her online at marymaxfield.com.

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